To my dear Baristas Australia-wide:
**Update Jan 25 - I've swapped out the original post's clipart for my own doodles. I hope you find them entertaining, I had fun scratching them out!
I understand this means my blood is probably way too thick for Aussie summers. After all, Seattle might MIGHT hit over 90F (~32C) for a couple of weeks at the very end of summer, while otherwise maintaining a delightful 75F (~23C) the rest of the season. I understand that is peanuts compared to averages of 30-35C (in NSW, much hotter elsewhere) with a far weaker ozone, which makes direct sunlight feel even more intense.
I also understand, dear Aussies, that your heritage may expect you to be less particular about your coffee than your tea. But, can someone please explain to me, why asking for my coffee over ice ALWAYS gets me one of the following:
- A look of complete confusion/non-understanding...
...often coupled with the response "oh we can't do that/don't know how/have never heard of that" (even after you explain it's effectively an Australian "Iced Coffee" sans (whipped) cream, sugar syrup, and ice cream, something which is listed on the menu)...
- a look of pure discomfort at the thought of making such a thing for anyone, paying customer or not...
OR, the more recent addition to this list
- a scalding hot flat white with TWO ICE CUBES (which the barista proudly points out to me while handing over my mug using a fireman grade glove).
I've resigned myself to your special naming system for all of your "designer" espresso drinks. For instance, I now ask for a flat white when ordering a cafe au lait and a long black for an americano (espresso with water). I've even gotten over the fact that, though percolated coffee is not available from cafes and restaurants, you maintain a fervent insistence that a drink which contains milk, espresso (or perhaps espresso flavoured sugar syrup), ice cream, and whipped cream is termed an "Iced Coffee".
Can't you please me meet half way about getting a scoop of ice cubes in my mug with my chosen coffee drink for the day?
Your attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks in advance,
The Viking Bunny
